Hi y'all.

Wanted to direct you to the sites that I'm spending my energy on:


read here
or
shop here


and



here.


They are both slowly developing, particularly the cat blog.
Stay tuned for kitty outfit posts and cat accessories for sale.

xoxox,
me.

Hi there.
My life has taken a new direction as of late.

I realized that I was trying to mash a lot of parts of myself into one superficial blog.
This dead webpage doesn't work for me right now.

I'm starting a bakery blog,
and i'm starting a mental health blog.

if youre interested in either, just email me and i'll hook you up.

until then, xoxoxox

i was reading old letters, and i found this:

today i was watching a discussion on

abugrahib and marveled at

how politically un-familiar

america has become

9/11 whirred us all into awareness and activation

which mean that people realized

the significance of people.

but now... we've all lapsed

into our own dimension of

self circulating apathy.

and it makes me sad

and it makes me sadder

that america has now declared itself a country

that condones torture.

a country founded on the idea of humanity and rights

and i am ashamed

ashamed of the stripes and the anthem

and i wonder if you still feel american anymore?

and i also always wondered why

i have wanted to live in new york

and i think i figured it out this morning

and its because youre surrounded

surrounded by millions of people

and everyday you step out of your door

and remember

that there is a big huge world out there

and youre a tiny part of it.

reality.

we forget.

and i find this desire for the commercial a little funny

because for a long while all ive wanted

is to live in the 60's

and be part of that movement

that humanistic movement

where activation was an everyday check

and people were comfortable with their bodies

and so free

so barefoot and

so free with

love.

i wear the clothes and sing the songs

read the books love the people

care about the earth

because i dont want to wait for that type of era

to resurface again

[because it will]

and be jealous of my children or grandchildren

for getting to live in it

when i will be too old.

they were the flowerchildren

i think we are the sunchildren

sun child.

jesus wants me for a sun beam.

think over those words for a second.

its a bohemian hymn.

its beautiful.

dont think anti-war, think peace.

smell orange blossoms

touch the grass

kiss the book

think the thought

do the action

learn to love you

and her

and him.

these are secrets you know...

not everyone knows them.

good secrets.

alive secrets

un-dead secrets.

something to push you on

because faith

in anything...

god.

humanity.

yourself

is enough

and tomorrow with always come

and its already filled with things you can do

"dont limit yourself" a beautiful boy told me

so these are my thoughts.

lately. they are fleeting and you are the one

the chosen unlucky one;)

who sometimes hears them

i think you realize that they are just boring letters

the simplest art form

stuck on a screen and they really only represent

complex ideas

that are not explainable through boring simplistic letters.

i breathe in and out

i love in and out

and for me, today,

that is enough.

what do you do to create your own happiness?
please tell me...

way to trump an impending bad day #872: hipster-ize your favorite kitten.

works every time. guaranteed.

hi.

my life just evolved into the perfect dream.
i'll tell you how in just a minute.

i've never been more happy.

word.

i used to write.

i used to write to breathe, sometimes short puffs sometimes long drawn out soliloquies of air... but they were really REALLY good. and i could always make it one more day.

i dont really write anymore... words and i have had a mutual falling out i guess. i write 'about me's' and biology papers and rebuttles and comments and status updates but nothing of substance because i'm afraid the words will fail me if i try. i know they'll be cheap and contrived. so i cheat. i write short tounge in cheek quick updates so i dont fail... but i never feel fully satisfied.

i never feel fully satisfied because to me, self expression is self validation.

if i can tell you about it, it is.
and if it is, it's okay.

does that make any sense?

so today i have a lot to say but i can't say it so i'll cheat again and post something my closest friend has written that explains where i am. she has a way with words.... the kind of way that people would kill to have come as naturally to them as it does to her.

"Today I want to have something to say, some words to splay across this page like so much paint upon a canvas.

But today I am no painter.

Today I want something to say, seperate from yesterday, and only hinting towards tomorrow.

But today I am not present.

Today I want my words to interlock and fit perfectly into one another like so many pieces of a puzzle, until a picture emerges. But today the pieces are too scattered to find matches.

I'm here today dead center amidst this revolution of myself, this inner rearrangement of the components which make up a person and it all leaves me feeling so lost.

I'm filled with a restless energy, eager to begin to live as I've never done before, but unsure of where to start."

-a new leaf productions.

i'm stuck in this place of unable to stay where i am, but afraid to move forwards for fear of leaving something behind.

i'm excited about this whirlwind manifestation of goodness in my life... ten new things that make me a better person. im excited to have a direct clear line that i drew myself, that i get to follow... that will take me to a higher, better, happier, healthier place...

i want to smile at strangers. i want to always have fresh flowers in the house. i want to invest more time in other people, in other animals. i want to focus on mental healing. i want to align my physical health with the ideal. i want to feel great. i want to get so GOOD at self love that i can teach a course on it. i want to create the ultimate place of employment. i want to organize my life and take out the unwanted clutter. i want to dye my hair an ourtrageous color and own it. i want to stop apologizing. i want to ATTACK the world with positivity and social activism. i want to start the fourth wave of feminisim. i want to change the world on a daily basis. i want to become a better person with each day that comes. i dont just want purpose, i want a MILLION purposes. i want to dance more, love more, sing more, care more, kiss more, BE more.

and that scares me for some strange reason.

can i be that big of a person?
can i take over my own world?

watch out self, i'm coming for you.
and its going to be the greatest fucking show on earth.

watch.
you'll see.

so, it's a him.
and he's three weeks.
and needs to be bottle fed every 3 hours.
from what looks like a doll bottle.
and then you burp him.
which is indubitably the CUTEST thing i've ever experience in my life.

i really thought you could trust most people, but if this kitten finding experience has taught me anything its that people are sometimes selfish and sadly you have to question. since nothing the woman told us was true i've been slowly learning how to take care of an infant "from scratch" and you know what?
I LOVE IT.

he comes to work with me at 4:30 am and i feed him first thing and then he plays in a box while i work and i take each break to hang out with him and feed him like a teenty tiny itty bitty baby. 'cause he is. this will go on for about a week and i think work will be less fun when hes old enough to be on his own at home:(

angel.

in other news, i've started my last class before all my women studies (read: two years till im DONE!). we've planted a flower garden. kari and i started our own book club. our tetra had babies (talk about teeny tiny itty bitty!). klint is off on a metal business adventure. i'm learning tons of existential stuff. antigones is having empowering author readings every friday. i'm working at a job that i love doing the thing i want to do for the rest of my life...

so sometimes i snap and curse and stress and scream from the overwhelming nature of it all, but the reality is that my life is evolving into the domestically stable picture of bliss i didnt know it could be. i have my own family now... at home. and we watch sports together and tell each other about our days and play games like "chase the feathers on a stick" and "claw the shit outta your hand"... theyre fun games. but mostly fun for the kitties.

["i've got a man to stick it out
we make a home from a rented house (oh oh oh oh oh)
we'll collect the moments one by one
i guess thats how the futures done..."]

so yeah.
life.
good job.

this is aurora borealis.

she was named after a roman goddess and a black/death metal band.
but mostly a black/death metal band.

she is only 6 weeks old and can fit in a tea cup.
the tiniest tea cup in the world.

she came with the most perfect set of black stripes... kinda exactly like a zebra.
...if there was a zebra that was fuzzy and weighed 5 ounces and had a lot to say.

anyways, she's a bad ass and we like her.
we like her a lot.

pretty word pictures.

because reading is just as much fun as looking.

grrrls.

watch about 60 seconds of this,



then watch all of this.

educate yourself. and by educate, i dont mean learn the dance moves.

hey you! i made a super dupe alleyooper playlist for you to cheer you up and cheer you on.
you're welcome!

xoxo,
moi

"I am Molly Singer, and there's no one in the world better than me!"
-Corrina, Corrina

want to know the secret to a good birthday?

here it is:
it lies in the simple lovely things.

it starts with breakfast at the Good Egg and a SNICKERS PANCAKE.
which, for the record, is the best birthday cake ever.


then, your favorite person puts his pride on hold and helps you smell each and every fragrance and then helps you pick out and purchases you two of these...



and one of these magical things... (and it looks even BETTER on YOU!)



and then you get a million of these...



and then you get surprised with some of these in your favorite color...
(i found the boy that every girl dreams of and prays for.)



and then you spend the rest of the day with this handsome face.

twenty five never felt so good.

radical self love boot camp starts in october!!!
yay university of existential living!!!

i had a beautiful blonde curly haired muse living with me for a few days,
and i learned a few things i forgot i knew.

1.) dance. a lot. it relieves the weight of life.
2.) yellow is still the best color.
3.) you can be best friends AND twins. even if you live 742 miles apart.
3.) red lace panties are the cure for everything
4.) no one is perfect, and you love 'em anyways.
5.) taylor swift is catchy

and the most important:

6.) there are three secrets to life:
consciousness
self love
and flexibility.

if you can master these (or even just work on them every day) you will be happier.
promise.


the unstoppable duo.
i hope we forever dance, read picture books
and have emotions that are all the colors of the rainbow.

xoxoxo

word to your mother.

now,
who said fat chicks cant wear cut offs and crop tops?
who said they cant wear $5 walmart bikinis?
who said they cant pull off lingerie in public?
who said they cant be confident, bad ass, forward and sexy?
i'd like to meet this person and introduce them to miss amelia who would most likely give them a roundhouse kick in the ass while wearing little mary jane heels.

and they would deserve it.

also,
her web magazine.

pretty. pretty. pretty.

reminds me of sesame street in the late 80's...
only more awesome.

which is impossible... isn't it?